chess

sex class

Hey there.

I don't know how formulated this is going to come off, but here it goes.

Furries.

The whole concept of the furry fetish is kind of new to me. One of my ex-roommates actually had to explain it all and break it down, as its not really something I'd go looking for on my own.

That having been said, there's lots of smack talk about furries that goes around the internet, and I don't really get that either. If two consenting adults want to do whatever they want to do, and aren't hurting anyone (unless they ask ;) in the process, fine. Not my thing, but whatever.

However, I do have a tiny bone of contention with the furry subculture. Having looked at pictures of folks in fur suits, it occured to me that some of those costumes probably cost hundreds, or even thousands, of dollars to make. Especially if they're custom ordered. It just seems to have a very defined class base for a fetish or sexual preference, and only for that reason. I'm sure there are varying degrees of involvement that will prove this wrong, but I digress.

I'm wondering if there are other sexual subcultures that might exclude themselves to different class brackets.

I don't know if this makes sense...or even if the thought has an ounce of validity...but is there any tie to class and sexuality? Why and how, or why not?

Thoughts?
wtf? I know

I'm not buying it.

Study says abstinence only programs might work

I have a hard time believing this. My main criticism is where did they get this data? Did they ask the students? If so, I don't think that's very credible. And they couldn't have followed the students around watching their sexual habits. I just don't see how they could get clear accurate data on this. I also just don't believe that students are that receptive to abstinence only education.

What are your thoughts?

Continued from my previous entry, cross posted from cf_hardcore again...

So I've had several days to think about my appointment last Tuesday. With the comments I've gotten here and the more in-depth research I've done... well...

Basically, I think this doctor, while never saying that he was opposed to a 23 year old nulliparous woman getting Essure done, he threw every road block in my way that he could. He starts off the appointment without even listening to me really at all beyond my saying I wanted to get it done before shutting me down. I won't do it in the office, if you want to do it in the hospital it's going to cost a good $6,000 with anesthesia, if your insurance is through Providence you're going to have to talk to the Catholic hospital and get a medical reason to be sterilized, etc. etc. ad nauseum.

I really do trust my GP doctor who referred me to this guy, I mean she's awesome in every respect. I think she may have referred me to him because he's the "best in the area" and has the most experience placing Essure. Her head was in the right place, but I think her heart may not have been. I've done much more research specifically on the topic of nulliparous Essure placement, and while none of the experiences I've read were exactly a walk in the park, it seems that with the right drugs the procedure can be done while the patient is awake. Yes it's uncomfortable, and yes there is some pain, but nothing as extreme as this doctor was implying. In fact, the only account I read where the patient actually "screeched" (her word) in pain was when her inner labia got snagged by some of the equipment. And let's face it, that's some sensitive skin there!

I've looked up the doctor I had my consultation with on a couple of rating websites, and he didn't fare very well - especially in the "doctor spent an adequate amount of time with me" "doctor listened to me" and "doctor helped me understand my condition" areas. I picked another doctor from the Essure website (this guy was listed there too, just further down) who was close enough to me and looked him up. The only thing he didn't fare well on was punctuality - and a doctor who runs late for his appointments is a doctor who LISTENS to his patients. And interestingly enough, the only negative reviews posted were from women who apparently left his office crying because he was frank with them about gaining too much weight during pregnancy. I called his office on Friday to specifically ask if he required his patients to be knocked out for Essure. Unfortunately he was out of the office, but I got transferred to a medical assistant who said she can write a note for him to call me, and assured me that he calls back potential patients with questions AND that he was always looking for more people to get Essure done.

Sooo hopefully this doctor calls me back Tuesday when he's due back into the office. I have a good feeling about him. I do not want to be put under for this, because frankly I'm terrified of needles and I really dislike the idea of people doing things to me while I'm unconscious. Besides, I wanna see the pink fluffy clouds inside my uterus! The idea that I could be awake and watch what was going on was really interesting for me when I was first reading up on Essure.

So, just as a general question, who here has had Essure done, and were you awake or asleep? What would you change about your experience if you could, if anything?

cross-posted from cf_hardcore (Re: Essure consultation)

Alright so I got back from my consultation a while ago. It could have gone better, haha.

He starts out by saying flat-out that he will NOT do it on me in the office if I haven't had kids. I get defensive before he really gets a chance to tell me WHY. The procedure is too painful to undergo without being put to sleep if my tiny uterus hasn't ever been stretched out by a pregnancy carried to full-term. He has had patients screaming so loudly from the pain in his office that, as a doctor, he feels that it is unacceptable to do any more. By all means if I want to be put to sleep, he will personally be happy to do it on me. He's done thousands of these procedures himself, he's the most experienced doctor around for them. His personal feelings on my childfree status have nothing to do with it. As a doctor, he feels confident in his abilities to perform the procedure. Let me have my surgery scheduler find out whether your insurance covers it, where we can get it done that you don't have to jump through a bunch of Catholic hospital hoops and appeal to the board of ethics on voluntary sterilization, and she'll get back to you within five business days. Here are 2 free NuvaRings for you. See you soon!

I really need to learn to hear people out before biting their heads off. He effectively called me an ill-informed little cunt, and with damn good reason. I jumped to the "Do YOU have a uterus? I can handle pain. I've had an abortion without being put to sleep. I've read womens' experiences getting it done without being put to sleep and they were fine." speech. I cried when he mentioned that a Catholic hospital (which, if I have Providence insurance, it would be - he checked for me, personally examined my insurance card, and determined that I don't actually have Providence insurance) could deny me if I don't have a valid medical reason to be sterilized, to which I said "Well if I get pregnant and can't terminate it, I'd jump off a bridge." He calmly asked me if I'm under counseling or medication and could provide documentation stating that I would be suicidal if I became pregnant. I said yes, I am on anti-depressants, but not seeing a counselor.

All in all, I felt really annoyed with myself toward the end of the appointment. I felt my anger piqued, and I fought back, which I didn't have to do. I think childfree women are just so damned used to defending themselves immediately when the question of reproduction comes into play that it's a knee-jerk reaction - much the same as the "you'll change your mind" bingo we always get.

I came away with a few consent forms, a pre-surgery form or two, pamphlets, and a promise to hear from them within 5 business days, and if my insurance approves this, I could be looking forward to a future surgery date! I really wish that I didn't have to be put under for it, and I am quite good at handling pain (as most of us have also defended - "you don't know pain unless you've given birth!" my great aunt Fanny!), but if that is what he feels comfortable doing, I really can't deny him. He does have quite a bit more experience ("A couple thousand procedures, more experience than you've read in any BLOG-"), and the doctor who actually developed Essure is right down the road from them so I can definitely trust them. He knows every little detail about a successful procedure, so I'm happy I'm in his hands now.

So anyway, cross all your fingers for my insurance to go through and everything!!




**I've already gotten a ton of helpful comments from cf_hardcore! Anything you guys can add will be appreciated!
queertattoo

Yay empowerment!

I was studying for an exam for my Counseling class, and stumbled across this gem in a section about counseling women, "On a developmental level, there is 'a noticeable gap in the literature with respect to studies on women in midlife who are childless, single, disabled, lesbian, ethnic minorities, or members of extended family networks' (Lippert, 1997, p. 17). For example, in working with voluntarily childfree women, Mollen (2006) stresses the importance of acceptance and empowerment of these women as well as helping them manage the stigma they may face in society because of their choice."

I thought it was great that my textbook encouraged supporting the choices of childfree women. :D

x-posted to childfree
'sup?
  • shalora

let's talk about menstruation

I'm assuming this is an okay topic here? It's not about sexuality per se, but kind of a related field.

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Why do they call them periods, anyway? Is it related to the waveform thing (dredging up high school, here) where a "period" is the distance between a point on one wave and the same point on the next wave, or something like that? *ponders*
boots

Harnesses...

I have some serious strap-on envy right now.

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So, in short, I:
-don't have sex that frequently
-when I do, I tend to have it with straight (and often penetration-phobic) cis men, just because there's a freaking lot of them

So...what do you even do with a harness in that case? I feel like I need to have one, but...err...? There's a certain thrill to just wearing one, even if you're not going to actually do anything with it, but...

And yes, I am aware I have an ellipses addiction.
  • haxzors

(no subject)

I am very confused. I am attracted to ALL people, male, female, trans, gay and straight. I enjoy having multiple committed and loving relationships. Here is the tricky part..while I enjoy kissing, touching, and intimacy with both males and females, I do not like, nor do I have the desire to be penetrated whatsoever, by anyone or anything. I like penis's they are nice to look at and play with, I even enjoy giving oral, but the idea of it going inside of my vagina makes me sick, I don't even want fingers inside of me. This has made maintaining relationships quite difficult for me. And before anyone jumps to conclusions, No I have never been raped or molested in any way and I am technically a "virgin" as I have never been penetrated by a penis. Is there a term or word for this, are there others out there like me?
queertattoo

How do you read people?

I am taking Sociology: Gender and Sexualities this term and for fun, my teacher is having us fill out a survey where we guess his sexual identity.

Now, he's really hard to read. I already did the survey and guess that he is bisexual based on the discussion in class since he didn't have any obvious stereotypes (and I try not to use stereotypes).

So it got me thinking: What things do you use to try to guess someone's orientation if any?

Side Note: my teacher seems really awesome.
butters as a squierrl

Did anyone watch National geograohic sunday?

Theyhad a show on there about gender,sex and lies i think. There was a person on there who discovered he had a uterus and ovaries(raised as a boy). Also, there was a little girl whos biologically and anatomically a boy, but is a girl. her parents are supportive and i just thought that was great. Shes 8 i believe.

If you saw it, what are your thoughts on this?